»»» Lost Wanderlust    September 29th, 2005:
  Wanderlust is an unpredictable emotion. Like love, you really don't know when it might creep into your heart and start factoring into every decision you make. You can't control it but if you're not careful it can control you. It was very unfortunate for me that my wanderlust seemed to leave with each throb of my toothache. By the time I was about to leave work and begin my two-week vacation - time off I requested three months prior - I had absolutely no desire to go anywhere except to see a dentist.

  I just reread my last entry and feel a bit embarrassed. This blog thing is a new experience for me and I tend to just let it flow onto the "paper" and not hold anything back. Nevertheless, I'm feeling a lot better now. That terrible tooth really affected my life! The pain made me feel miserable and very grumpy. Being inside for days at a time, working until the early mornings by the light of my computer screen brought me lower and lower. My mood festered and I fell into an addictive routine of sleeping in until 11am, working all day on the computer or watching TV, and then making my way back to bed around two, three, sometimes even four in the morning.

  Thankfully, I broke out of it and forced myself to return to work. Throughout the day, as I was welcomed back by one coworker after another, I began to realize that my time off was sort of an anti-vacation. Instead of leaving work to find happiness at some happy and relaxing place, I had inadvertently fallen into the mental version of Dante's purgatory for a week. When I finally freed myself, I returned to work to surprisingly discover that I enjoyed it. In the afternoon, I actually was "caught" by a co-worker walking the halls of work with a Cheshire cat grin on my face.

  I can feel my wanderlust starting to come back. Although I wasn't able to go to the Grand Canyon or see Utah, I still have my trip to the Mohave Desert. I will be leading a three-day expedition through Death Valley next weekend, pointing out the filming locations used in the original Star Wars trilogy to a dozen or so uber-Star Wars fans. A lifetime ago, I was once a huge Star Wars fan myself, but this journey was a promise for a friend of mine. I look forward to sharing some good times with him and the others camping under the stars.

  Thank you for your emails of support today. It is always nice to hear from you and your feedback. A few of you had questions about the artwork and design of my new section, Favorite Photos of My First Pilgrimage. Other than a few exceptions, the collages were made using scans and photographs of items I collected in Europe on my 2001 trip. There are 60+ pages, but only two templates: one for verticle photos and one for horizontal photos:

  Many of the items are used on both layouts. The clover in the bottom right corner was plucked from the ruins of Pompeii, Italy and currently rests inside the pages of my journal, which is also pictured. The strange bronze coin with the fetus in the center was given as change in a small shop in Dubrovnik, Croatia, and was released to commemorate the millennium. The map shaped like an envelope with the French postmarks is the letter I brought with me to Europe to complete a goal I had made in 1997. The red lava rock was pocketed when I was atop the sleeping giant of Mount Vesuvius in Naples, Italy.

  I wish all of the items were from my trip, but I wanted to use a couple things that I thought would look cool on my webpage. I frequently peruse eBay for items that might look good incorporated into my website design or artwork. For instance, the broken white clock highlighted on the opening page as well as every page of this section was found for a few bucks on eBay. Same goes for the old map measuring device from Germany. The maps running along the bottom half of both layouts in the background were scanned from the pages of my collection of old Baedeker's Guidebooks. The "horizontal photos" template has a map of central Paris from a 1907 guide to Paris and It's Environs. You might recognize the city on the other map as that of Rome, which came from Baedeker's Central Italy published in 1909.

Link of the Day: Holy Squid! Photos Offer First Glimpse of Live Deep-Sea Giant ~ One of the coolest news stories of the week comes from Japan. For the first time ever, a living giant squid has been captured on film! Although the elusive sea monsters of the deep aren't considered rare, they have been extremely camera shy. In fact, only beached ten-armed cephalopods have ever been studied. The article states that the squid lost one of its arms when struggling to free itself from the scientist's baited hook. The photographed giant squid measures 18 feet (5.5 meters) long and "analysis of the tentacle confirmed it came from a giant squid and allowed the researchers to estimate the total length of the animal. But the researchers caution that their data assume the tentacle was severed at its base. If not, the squid may have been considerably larger. The longest giant squid on record measured 59 feet (18 meters), including its two elongated tentacles." To see more photos of the elusive sea monster of the deep, head over to NationalGeographic.com.

 »»» The Hermit of Arcadia    September 28th, 2005:
  Well, I haven't been traveling...at all. I did not go on the abbreviated trip I mentioned in my last entry ten days ago. No camping in the Grand Canyon. No hiking in my local area. In fact, I haven't even gone into work.

  What I have been doing is living much like a hermit would if he lived in Arcadia. For the last week and a half, I have been working on my website (more on that later), catching up on my reading, watching episodes of Lost and CSI, and only leaving my apartment to check the mail or grab some groceries. Am I in a state of depression? I really don't know. I've thought about it a lot this week. Sometimes there's a thin line between depression and just plain ol' laziness. I do know that I'm a bit sad and disappointed in how quickly my travel plans unraveled. It has been many years since I've planned for a major trip only to have it fall apart. Even last December, after losing my job just a week before my South America trip, I still managed to keep to my plans. Yet this time, with my molar breaking and the price of rental cars and gas hitting a new high, it sent my trip down the drain and my spirits along with it.

  I'm usually a the-cup-is-half-full kind of guy, always looking at the positive aspects of life. When I talk to friends and family about this week, I assure them I'm fine: "I'll do the trip some other time," I tell them. "I'm perfectly content staying around here and working on my website." I don't know if I say that because I do believe it or I want to believe it.

  This morning, I went to the dentist to have my broken molar extracted. I've had some bad moments with dentists and find myself quite anxious and uncomfortable around them. Needless to say, having to see one in order to have a tooth removed didn't really make the trip any easier. As I sat in the dentist chair as the dentist washed his hands and put on the rubber gloves, I began to meditate. I knew that I would be out the door and on my way home in less than a half hour, but those next thirty minutes would most likely be very painful. Maybe it wouldn't be physically painful (thanks to a heavy shot of anesthetic), but it was most definitely going to be painful to hear.

  To start, the dentist used an instrument called an elevator to loosen the tooth, widen the space in the jawbone, and try to break the tiny fibers that attach the tooth to the bone. Believe me, this process does not create a pleasant sound. Although the anesthetic made my mouth numb, I had a very hard time concentrating on something other than the sound of breaking tooth and fibers. I tried to ignore the blood spatter on my dentists mask when he broke off the partial crown of my broken molar, or the fact that the dental hygienist was removing more blood than saliva with her suction tool. After a few minutes of this, he started using a mini drill and proceeded to cut the remaining portions of the tooth into sections so it could be removed easier. As I write this, I still have the pungent smell of tooth dust in my nose. I went through ten minutes of this before the tooth dislocated from the bone and was lifted and removed with forceps.

  Maybe things are now going to go my way now that I have had my molar removed. Tomorrow I'll be returning to work, partially because I want to but mainly because I'm not allowed to do any strenuous exercise for the next 3-4 days. I might go on a short day hike this weekend, but as of now, I'm just happy that my broken tooth - and the pain it caused - is gone.

Instead of my Link of the Day, I'd rather introduce you to a few new pages this hermit has been working on for the last eight days:

Favorite Photos of My First Pilgrimage - Since I wasn't travelling on my vacation, I had a lot of time to reminisce about past trips. I brought out all of my journals, photos, and miscellany and decided to put together to make this section. After hours of scanning and photoshop work, I've created an area of my site that I am really proud of. I hope you have time to go through it all.

Links Page - Many people have asked for it over the years and my time to myself gave me the opportunity to put one together.

RSS Feed - I've added a feed to my site so you can track when I update my blog. If you don't know what an RSS feed is, let alone an RSS, don't worry. I didn't know what it was a week ago either! But I'll save all that for my next blog entry.

 »»» Shoe Test    September 18th, 2005:

  I've been wearing my new aquatic shoes around town, but I hadn't yet made the time to test them out in the environment they were intended for. So this weekend, I went hiking up my favorite trail wearing my Sebago Wave Extremes. (see 8/11 for more details on these shoes). The mile-long trail dances from one side of a stream to the other, where most hikers would need to jump from rock to rock to stay dry. Not I! I had more fun than Fred Astaire on a rainy day. While I watched my sister and parents plan on which rocks they would use to get across the gentle stream, I just sloshed on through the water. The first time I did it, my sister looked at me perplexed. I explained to her that they shoes were designed to be used in water. "So they're waterproof?" She asked. No, but they don't soak up water like your running shoes do. You step in the stream and your shoes would feel more like heavy sacks tied to your feet. I step in the stream however, I get wet, but my shoes don't soak up the water! She looked at me a bit crooked. "But why would you want shoes like that?" Sigh. Life would be so much easier if my family read my blog...

  Yes, I love these shoes. After an hour or so of splashing around, my shoes didn't feel any heavier than when they were dry. Of course, my feet were a little chilled, but not a single annoying pebble or sliver of bark made it into my shoe. Best of all, they didn't cause any blisters to form, even after wearing the slightly wet pair on an evening walk around South Pasadena with my family that evening. I give the shoes two big toes up!~K

Link of the Day: Golf GTI commercial ~ (Right click and save target) Speaking of Fred Astaire, I absolutely love this commercial. I've watched it just about every week for the last eight months and I'm still not sick of it. In fact, I can't get enough of it. Enjoy!

 »»» Change of Plans    September 16th, 2005:

  It has been a busy week for me. I've had to make a tough choice and it required a lot of thought. Due to the high price of gas these past few months, and the fact that the truck I was intending to rent would be over $700, I have decided to put my original plans on hold. Instead, I am cutting my trip down to just five days in Arizona and Utah. I will be leaving on September 22nd (as planned) and driving to the Grand Canyon in my own car where I will spend 2 days camping near Havasu Falls. After that, if my car is up to it, I will go to Kanab, Utah and hope to be one of the few to win the daily permit lottery to visit "The Wave." If I get one, I'll stay an extra day for the hike. If not, I'll expore the area. Either way, I'll be heading home the following evening.

  It was a long road to get to this current plan. When I had originally posted my plans for this trip, you might recall that ththe Southwest was not my first choice. I had decided on exploring the Southwest mainly because international airline tickets were fairly costly for me. "Why not save money by traveling locally?" I thought. Then gas prices started rising, slowly eating away from my budget. But the big kick in the head happened when I really dug in and started looking for a truck to rent - in retrospect, something that I should have done first and formost - and discovered that the amount for a truck was just about the same as a ticket to Europe! And that didn't include gas along the way! Since I hadn't invested in anything that couldn't be used later (other than a $15 permit to day hike "The Subway"), I put everything on hold and looked for a cheap ticket overseas. Oh boy, did I search. I used every ticket site and consolidator I knew about to find a ticket out of the US. At first I looked into something reasonable - like a flight to Rome or Paris - but then I opened my search to anywhere: Morocco, Turkey, Romania, Mozambique, Cambodia... I made a list of every flight I found, when it departed (on Sept 23rd) and when it arrived back home (Oct 5th). I was planning for a trip I would be taking in a week. I was going to be in a foreign country in seven days and I didn't even know which one! Despite the craziness of it all, I was excited. And it made sense to me.

  Then reality bit. Well, it ached really. I had been meaning to go to the dentist for a while now, but a few of my teeth got sick of waiting for me to stop procrastinating. There's nothing like a really bad toothache to ruin one's vacation plans. I suppose that the pain could go away on its own. I could arrive in some forign destination and my teeth would be happy. "Hey, thanks Kolby!" they would say. "We were wondering when you were going to get us out of Los Angeles! Now we're ok!" Yeah, right. After a few days of intense pain and regular consumption of Extra-Strength Tylenol, it became clear that the cavities weren't going to fix themselves. So after my abbreviated trip to Arizona and Utah, I'm using my remaining time and money to get some dental work done.

  Am I disappointed? A little bit. But I know I've made the right decision. I belive that everything happens for a reason. I also believe that there are three keys for going on a trip: the desire, the money, and the time. I tried to go to Europe three times in the 1990's. Every one of them failed because I was at least one of the three keys were missing. Finally, in 2001, it all came together, the travel door was unlocked, and I had the time of my life. If any of my first attempts to go to Europe had succeeded, then my experiences in 2001 might not have ever happened. I'm thankful that it worked out that way. And I'm sure that when I finally go on a long journey again, I'll be thankful that things worked out the way they did this time 'round. ~K

Link of the Day: WALK! Los Angeles With Me ~ I learned about this website from the Los Angeles Times: "Before moving to Los Angeles in 1999 to pursue a career in art, London native Lisa Salem traveled alone to India and spent two winters with Irish squatters in an abandoned train car without electricity or water. But those adventures pale in light of Salem's latest expedition: She's walking across L.A. and won't return home until she's crisscrossed the entire sunbaked urban sprawl. The 30-year-old painter, photographer and multimedia artist left her Echo Park residence on May 27, pushing a camera-fitted baby stroller sparsely packed with a cellphone, sunglasses, bottled water and Kleenex for her allergies. Since then, Salem has been relying on the kindness of strangers and a network of friends who allow her to crash on their couches while she blogs in text and images about her experiences on her blog."

 »»» Remembering My 9|11    September 11th, 2005:

  September 11th, 2001. Just saying the date evokes a strong emotion for many. It was one of those "I remember where I was when..." days. It has been scorched into my permanent memory, but for more reasons than one would think. The sadness of the terrorist attacks was unfathomable, even for those thousands of miles from Ground Zero. Of my friends here in California that have shared with me there memories on where they were, most said that they had heard the news from their alarm clock radio, their TV, or a friend or family member within a short time of rolling out of bed that morning. None of them could have expected to feel such emotions on what should have been a normal Tuesday in September.

  However, I had expected September 11th to be anything but normal for me. For years I had been planning to backpack around Europe and the dream was realized just a few hours before the attacks in New York occurred. I had left on my first solo-flight on September 10th and arrived into Charles de Gaul Airport in Paris on September 11th. I first heard about the attacks from my Mother when calling home for the first time, letting her know that I arrived safely in Paris and had just settled in at a campsite. I had expected a happy greeting from her on the other end of the phone. Instead, her voice was panic-stricken, wavering with fear. "Oh, Kolby! I'm so glad you're safe!" she said. "Terrorists have struck the Trade Towers in New York with planes and America is going to war!" The words didn't even register; my brain simply could not process the words. I paused for a moment, then replied with "Ok, but let me tell you about my trip so far! Paris is amazing!"

  Although much of the conversation I had with my Mother has since faded, what followed has stayed crystal clear. I remember trying to find a television in the small camp area. I rushed into the small cafe at my Parisian campsite. I could tell that the two customers chatting at a center table and sipping on espressos had no idea what was occurring on the other side of the Atlantic. None of the half-dozen staff seemed to know either. I interrupted a waitress from her vacuuming and asked her if she could turn on the large-screen TV in the corner and find a news program. I stood staring at the screen as she tried to find a clear news program - manually clicking through channels with one hand while adjusting a cheap rabbit-ear antenna in the other. I could hear snippets of French programs as she clicked through the channels. I could tell by the tone of the foreign voices on the garbled stations that they were talking about a serious event. The waitress stopped on a channel where the scrambled picture wasn't as bad as the others. Colored lines danced on the screen as she held the antenna as different angles. By this time, I could feel all eyes in the room on the TV. A quick glimpse revealed bar tenders and cooks standing behind the bar, staring motionless at the indiscernible images. The conversation between the two guests had also stopped and their attention was also on the TV. Their ashen faces told me that the French newscaster was bearing some very bad news. Moments of clarity snapped onto the screen as the waitress fumbled with the cheap rabbit-ear antenna. But was it clear? Was that really New York blanketed in smoke or another glitch in the reception? Were flames really shooting out of the side of one of the towers? And why couldn't I see the other tower? Before I could figure any of it out on my own, they replayed the shocking moments of the last hour: planes crashing, fires raging, buildings falling. I walked out of the café, collapsed at a patio table, and started weeping.

  This was just a moment in the first of seventy-seven days of my trip around Europe. I will never forget September 11th. I will never forget that trip. ~K

Link of the Day: Letters From The Road ~ This is the heart of my website. The story I told above was just one of many that I hope to never forget. Of course, I wasn't able to share all my stories from that first pilgrimage, but the letters I emailed home capture the essence of how much the trip means to me and how much it changed my life. The writing might be bad, but I invite you to read about what happened on my 77-day adventure across Europe.

 »»» Knowledge vs. Nothing    September 4th, 2005:

"Say, Pooh, why aren't you busy?" I said.
"Because it's a nice day," said Pooh.
"Yes, but---"
"Why ruin it? he said.
"But you could be doing something Important," I said.
"I am," said Pooh.
"Oh? Doing what?"
"Listening," he said.
"Listening to what?"
"To the birds. And that squirrel over there."
"What are they saying?" I asked.
"That it's a nice day," said Pooh.
"But you know that already," I said.
"Yes, but it's always good to hear that somebody else thinks so, too," he replied.
"Well, you could be spending your time getting Educated by listening to the Radio, instead," I said.
"That thing?"
"Certainly. How else will you know what's going on in the world?" I said.
"By going outside," said Pooh.
"Er... well..." (Click.) "Now just listen to this, Pooh."
"Thirty thousand people were killed today when five jumbo airliners collided over downtown Los Angeles...," the Radio announced.
"What does that tell you about the world?" asked Pooh.
"Hmm. You're right." (Click.)
"What are the birds saying now?" I asked.
"That it's a nice day," said Pooh.*

  I just finished The Tao of Pooh, a thoughtful book which explains the Eastern thought of Taoism through Winnie the Pooh and A.A. Milne's other animal characters. I don't want to get too deep here, but one of the many things that book taught me is that knowing everything will not lead to a great reward nor to a happier life. Become "completely awake" by turning back to the way you were as a child: aware, clear-minded and all-seeing... The Wise are Children Who Know." Empty your mind of "the countless minute somethings of small learning and [fill it] with the wisdom of the Great Nothing, the Way of the Universe." I found myself in agreement with Taoism after finishing this book.

  So you're probably wondering where I'm going with this. Well, my last blog entry mentioned something about having my trip's itinerary done by now. Yeah, well... Two weeks have passed and no movement has been made on it. The books and maps have sat quietly on my desk, not doing anything on their own. I look over at them from time-to-time and become uncomfortable, like seeing a pile of dirty laundry that should have been washed. But it felt wrong to complete the itinerary and I didn't know why. Could it be that I do not want to take this trip? Or might it be that I'm feeling uncomfortable traveling on my own to such a barren area of the world? No, I don't think that these are major concerns of mine.

  I wasn't able to put my finger on why... until I read The Tao of Pooh. It provided me with an answer: "The masters of life know the Way, for they listen to the voice within them, the voice of wisdom and simplicity, the voice that reasons beyond Cleverness and knows beyond Knowledge." That was it! I was concentrating so much on the details of the trip, I had lost sight of the reason for the trip. Ironically, I stressing out about something I had hoped would relieve stress! So now I'm going to back up. Reassess the situation. I'm going to leave my plans the way they are - unfinished. This will allow me to become more spontaneous and curious while on the road. I want to be able to take the time to not think about what is going to happen next and spend more time on the now. I want to be able to relax, to clear my mind, to step outside and try to hear the birds tell me that it's a nice day.~K

Link of the Day: NASA's Astronomy Picture of the Day Archive ~ A good friend forwarded this image as an email attachment to me today and, being the detail hound that I am, went on a quest to find out more about it. You might have already seen this image before since it was an email sensation for a while, apparently. On my Great Sunday Afternoon Web Hunt, I saw hundreds of photographs of/from space, and, quite frankly, I think I'll hurl if I see another one. My link of the day has tons of great shots, but I'll save you time by pointing out some of my favorites: Tornado and Rainbow Over Kansas, Sunrise Over Kilimanjaro, and An Antarctic Total Solar Eclipse.